A Letter…Not Sure Who From


Welcome to another mailbag! This week, we actually have a real question from a real person! This is a landmark day and I’m going to celebrate it from here on out. If you would like to contribute to future mailbags, you can send me a PM or email them to kristakahashi@gmail.com. As for the rest, we’ll just have to rely on our Skyrim courier to deliver them.

On to the questions:

buy prozac online asks:

What are some of Valgus’ guilty pleasures? I’d ask for Rumarin’s, but I have a hard time thinking he’d feel guilty about anything.

Well, Rumarin uses humor to deflect and at times project his inadequacies. He says “juggling and tying cherry stems is real magic” even though he desperately wants to be a mage, or makes a joke about “males, females, beasts, and goats” even though he’s kind of a prude and scared of true intimacy (both of which become increasingly clear the more you talk to him).

So I don’t know if that makes magic a guilty pleasure so much as a subconscious one, but he definitely feels things. He just has trouble expressing that guilt so what comes out is a joke.

Valgus is just more honest about who he is, and honesty comes with age and wisdom. But to answer your question, Valgus does have a guilty pleasure, which he makes known if you bring him around Valla and Uthgerd. While he’s given up violence for the most part, he still likes to brawl. He sees it more as a friendly competition or a way to settle disputes without bloodshed, but I think he might feel slightly guilty about the contradiction given he’s a healer.

Oh, and he’s also a huuuuuge Nickelback fan. No, I’m just fucking with you, not even Valgus would put up with their shit.

Download PS4 Jailbreak Tool Now asks:

The other day I came to that adventurers ruin near Winterhold and met the Alchemist/chemist… Kianna was her name?  Cute character, and cute jokes, I liked the “bleeding crown” one. Only I didn’t get the one about the nirnroot and the pearl. Prolly totally obvious of course ?

Ha, only if you’re an alchemist.  Nirnroot resists magic, pearls resist shock.  So when the nirnroot and the pearl went on a date, there was “no magic” and “no spark” to their relationship.


download wii u emulator asks:

Given it was around for less than a decade, what percentage of people know the sound of a dial-up modem? 

I don’t know, I imagine it’s a lot. Pretty much everyone alive has probably used one. Shit, I’m sure there are still a large amount of elderly people who use AOL. It’d be easier to single out who hasn’t heard it, and that would mostly be children or isolated tribal people, and even they might hear it at some point in their lives. I don’t need to be middle-aged to know what a vinyl record sounds like.

So while over time that percentage will become smaller and smaller, I don’t know if it will ever be fully erased from the public consciousness. Especially since questions like this will remind people of it. It’s the modern equivalent of walking to school ten miles uphill in the snow.

hair loss remedies for thyroid problems asks:

Shrink, shrunk. Think, thunk. Shouldn’t the past tense of drink be drunk and not drank? As in, “Yes officer, I have drunk, but I am not drunk, I only had one drink.”

While that sentence made my head hurt, it’s actually correct. Drunk can be a verb, an adjective, and a noun. So while I have never drunk from this keg, I drank from this drink, and I am drunk as a result. Disclaimer: I cannot and will not be held liable if the Nazis come after you as a result of my shitty grammar advice.

Gregor Bashums asks:

Okay, who would win in a fight: Anum-La or an entire Toys’R’Us of living toys? This is urgent, I need to know for my fanfic.

Well, I imagine a lot of toys are designed to appeal to children, so I don’t think Anum-La would be capable of slaughtering a horde of plastic ponies and cabbage patch babies without getting flashbacks of that day in the cave. But admittedly I haven’t been in a toy store for years, perhaps they’ve gotten more violent over the years.

On the other hand, regardless of how many sharp objects they have, you’re implying the toys would be working together and not at each other’s throats. I can’t imagine Toy Shredder working with the Toy Ninja Turtles, not without some kind of hypnosis.

Second, they’re still toys. Not only are they meant to appeal to children, they’re also designed to be safe for them. Toys are only dangerous when they contain tiny pieces that you might swallow and choke on, or in rare cases if they contain traces of lead. If we assume Anum-La doesn’t try to lick and swallow any toys, she should win the battle. But if Leadazor, the world’s first lead-based Pokemon, managed to crawl up her nose, then yeah, she might end up losing the war.

5 thoughts on “A Letter…Not Sure Who From”

  1. Thanks Kris, now I know my fanfic will be 100% 3DNPC-canon compatible! Now when someone tries to tell me that there’s no way Anum-La could survive a toy onslaught, I’ll be able to point to this post and say, “well ACTUALLY Kris said she could, stupid!!!!” and for once in my life that won’t be a bald-faced lie! Yay!

    1. Ha, I should be thanking you. Mailbags are so much easier when there are actual questions to answer.

      Although I think I should make one change. Pokemon are a little too big to crawl up people’s noses. But if Leadazor decided to become Anum-La’s companion, like a certain child did, then he’d probably be just as effective in killing her, it would just happen over a longer period of time.

      You know what they say, gotta catch ’em all. In this case, the thing she would be catching is lead poisoning.

  2. I didn’t know that you could send questions for the mailbag section! I thought it was all Kris’ imagination xd. Ok, I’ll prepare a couple of questions for next week xd.

  3. Wow, I was about to ditch Valgus at the altar until I saw the Nickelback thing was a joke! I’ve always seen him as more of a Leonard Cohen type…

    1. Ha, yeah. I imagine liking Nickelback would be a dealbreaker for any marriage.

      Thing is, normally I don’t like piling on artists. They’re not forcing you to listen, they’re doing what they love and they’re obviously winners in life. And just by making music they’re subjecting themselves to so much hateful shit that’s so easy for critics to fling. So I typically feel uncomfortable tossing kindling onto the fire.

      But then someone pointed me to the existence of this video, which should come with its own WARNING LABEL.

      IT IS A NICKELBACK DISCO SONG. I REPEAT, A DISCO SONG BY NICKELBACK. And thirty seconds in, I lost whatever empathy I had for these spawns of Satan. They are evil and their music is evil and the internet hates them for a reason.

      On the other hand, it makes their success all the more amazing. It is a triumph of something, that’s for sure.

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