Welcome to another edition of our weekly mailbag. Again, all the letters below come from real spammers delivered via courier in the game Skyrim.
If you would like to send a question, PM me here or email them to firstname.lastname@example.org. Just make sure to let me know this is for the mailbag and that you want your name public, or else I will attribute your question to spammers.
On to the mailbag:
I was drinking water out of a toilet in Fallout the other day, and I started to realize why those beggars in front of the cities demand the pure stuff. What does dirty water really mean? I assumed it was mud in there, but now I’m not so sure.
Interesting point. You’re asking if the dirty water in Fallout literally tastes like shit. Well, the only way to really know is when Fallout XXVIII comes out for the Oculus Holodeck and people download the Immersive Dirty Water and Toilet mod for the first time. But if you’re a serious method gamer who doesn’t want to wait that long, you can easily make your own personal canteen of jenkem and drink whenever your character drinks. This way, it’s not just your tongue, but your body that suffers the effects of drinking fecal poison.
Personally though, I like a balance of immersion and fantasy. So in my game the poo water will probably taste like an Oreo shake and the Mojave will have air conditioning.
Is it true the Witcher 3 has four times the landmass as Skyrim?
Perhaps, but like the man with the tiny penis is fond of saying, “Size isn’t everything,” and “Fuck you God for giving me a tiny penis.” He is fond of saying both those things.
In any case, if you did nothing else to Skyrim save expand the land mass, the only thing you’d be doing is spreading the content further apart.
Granted, pace is also determined by mobility. I find Bethesda games are perfect for someone like me who likes to walk from place to place. I only use a horse as a substitute for fast travel. I’ve heard The Witcher 3 gives you a horse from the start of the game, so that may be why there’s more distance between each point of interest. Ultimately though, the bigger the landmass, the more content you’ll need to create – through purty visuals or gameplay – to justify it. Otherwise, it just means a longer walk.
generic viagra professional 100mg asks:
Amanda Knox? Guilty or not?
This is a very strange question to ask a Skyrim modder, but okay, I’ll bite. From what I gather she is a very attractive woman who was accused of a very horrible crime. Outside of that, I don’t know a thing about this case.
However, I imagine it’s these two details – beauty and blood – which made the case a cultural phenomenon to begin with. No one cares about the overweight candy thief from Blacksburg. People care about mysteries and sex, and I’m not entirely sure about the mystery part.
So yes, the only reason I suspect this question found its way into my inbox is the woman’s face, which is easy on the eyes. Only here’s the thing about beauty and youth. It represents such a small percentage of a person’s life. Now that I’m older, I’ve stopped looking at people from a single point in time. Amanda Knox isn’t just an attractive murder suspect. She’s an old woman with a secret, a wife with trust issues, a teenager studying abroad, someone’s precious baby daughter. And of course, all the other things about her personality, and how that will grow and change, that I know nothing about. I’m not sure if that makes the case more compelling or less so. I just know I don’t have time to give you an opinion that’s worth a shit.
quick cash now asks:
Will you and Alice review my Skyrim mod when I release it based on your GoT rating system?
Well, mods are more Modcast territory, but I suppose we can take requests. It’s been a while since the last show because Alice has been busy with school and other things. I’m actually going to call her tomorrow but only to help eradicate that English accent of hers once and for all. It’s like a root canal, the infection is buried in deep. You might even say she was born with it.
Speaking of podcasts, we’re going to have to shuffle things around a bit. I know Christian doesn’t have time for it anymore, so Anna and another modder are going to take over that show. There’s gonna be changes all around.