These are background NPCs you’ll find while exploring the world. They just chat and don’t engage the player.
Why do they call ‘em “potato crisps?” Aren’t they potato chips?
Don’t know. Supposedly people on the other side say chips are french fries.
The other side? What, you mean hell?
The other side of the Atlantic. Not exactly hell, but from what I’ve heard, it’s pretty damn close.
Is Clancy still up for tomorrow?
Said he can’t. He’s going to the clinic to donate some blood.
That’s admirable. Never could do it myself.
I don’t know. I just can’t imagine my blood swimming around in some other guy’s dick.
What’s in this drink?
Beer if you’re lucky. Radiation most likely.
It almost sounds like they’re trying to kill us.
And we’re paying customers. Imagine what they’ll do when we run out of caps.
I don’t think I’m getting drunk fast enough for my liking.
Maybe the alcohol here is watered down.
Watered down whiskey should be a crime.
You need laws to have crime. Otherwise it’s just a screw job.
You notice the weather’s getting a bit colder?
Colder? If anything, it’s getting hotter.
The weather, or the climate?
Is there a difference?
Sure. Weather’s what we got now. Climate’s what we’ve been getting now, later, and back then.
Well, I went outside yesterday, I went outside today, and I plan on going outside tomorrow. And it seems to me that in this case, weather and climate is the same fucking thing.
NCR CHAPLAIN AND TROOPER FRIEND
Chaplain – Black
Trooper – Red
You hear what they’re saying out in town? Some hero is out walking the wastes, solving people’s problems. Like a real life Wyatt Earp.
Wyatt Earp was a real person.
Sure. Hung out with a cyborg doctor and solved mysteries out of a van or something.
Wow, that sounds like fun. I oughta replace you with a cyborg John. It might make for better company.
How many more years you think we got? Ten, twenty?
Don’t know, Dale. Life expectancy tends to jump all over the place when the world’s gone to hell.
I mean, sure, we aren’t out taking baths with mirelurks or anything, but danger can find you easy enough.
Well, at least if I die, I’ll finally know whether God is real or you’re a liar.
John, was it you who gave me that Bible?
Probably, Dale. Unless you’ve been seeing another priest behind my back.
Is that what you are, my priest? Cause according to Candance, you’re my second wife.
What made you join the priesthood anyway?
Honestly, I realized I was hanging around the wrong people and decided I needed to make it right with God.
But you were hanging around me.
So what did the Sergeant say? You’re my friend John, you can tell me.
It doesn’t matter if we’re friends Dale. Confessions are spoken only to God.
It’ll be fine. After all, I’m an atheist.
Why does the military need a chaplain anyway?
Well, as a soldier you could die at any moment. A lot of people have questions about the afterlife.
And you have the answers?
I don’t have the answers. I just point them to the right page.
So do I call you chaplain now or just John?
You can call me whatever you want. Both are correct.
So you’re a chaplain and a John. Seems like that’s a bit of a conflict, don’t you think?
THE SOLDIER AND THE CADET
Soldier – Lines in Black, Female
Cadet – Lines Blue, Male
I don’t know how you do it.
You don’t think I get scared? I’m a woman. The Legion will just cut your head off.
God only knows what they’ll try to do to me.
That’s even worse. I don’t want to think about you dying too.
Then you better have my back.
What happens if they don’t come for the dam? What if they go for something else?
That’s not their style. They attack things head on, and they never quit. So make sure you don’t either.
Hey! I heard about the little show you put on at the shooting range. Didn’t know you were a marksman.
Yeah, but I’ve never actually killed anyone before. I can’t imagine it’s the same. What if I flinch?
You got family back home Jenkins?
Yeah. A girlfriend and maybe a baby on the way.
Then that’s who you think about when some Legionnaire is coming for your throat.
Are you heading out to the Strip when your tour’s over?
Is there anywhere else? Why, what do you do for fun?
I don’t know. I just sort of sit and think about how I’m gonna fight.
That’s not healthy. Play some cards, have a drink, loosen up.
But what if the Legion attack? I want to be ready.
You wind yourself up the way you’re doing, and you’ll kill yourself first.
You hear that gunfire last night? Couldn’t have been more than a mile out.
Just some of the boys out letting off some steam.
How do you know it wasn’t coyotes? Or raiders?
Probably cause I was out there with ‘em.
CHILDREN OF ATOM
Senior Member – Black
New Member – Green
Why does Atom preach division? Are we not supposed to come together?
How can a person be with someone if he is alone? It is like the cell that becomes a man. Without division, there is no life.
How goes your studies?
I have so many questions, I’m not sure if I’m ready. What if the others don’t accept me?
Atom’s spirit flows through you, as it does all things. It is you who must accept him.
Why has Atom forsaken the ghouls? Why won’t he end their suffering?
Ghouls are the chosen witnesses to the Great Divide. They are tasked with spreading the word of Atom.
I see. But not all ghouls can talk, can they?
Those are the true forsaken. For they have forsaken his gift.
What is “The Glow?”
It is Atom’s spirit flowing through you.
The doctor calls it radiation poisoning.
For those who have denied his love, it can be called many hateful things. But love it remains.
blue – woman(FILLED)
black – man
So are you gonna invite him?
I’m not gonna beg. If he comes, he comes. I don’t need his approval anymore, I’m not a child.
And you don’t think you’re acting like one?
No, I don’t. If anyone is acting like a baby, it’s him. He’s probably still mad I left.
You did leave without saying a word.
(not angry, just joking incredulity)
And you helped! Jesus, whose side are you on, anyway?
Yours. You know that. That’s why I’m trying to get you to make up. It’s what you want, right?
To be honest, I don’t know what I want. Things with my dad have always been complicated.
So what did he do to you that was so bad?
I don’t know. It always felt like he cared more about survival than raising a family.
In his defense, you can’t raise a family if they’re dead.
I get that, and I appreciate it, really, but it’s not like you have to pick one or the other. You can do both.
Okay, so give me an example. When’s a time you felt neglected?
Well, this one time he forgot my birthday because he was too busy setting traps.
Then he tried to make up for it by saying the molerat he caught was my present.
(FNV) Then he tried to make up for it by saying the gecko he caught was my present.
(sarcastic) Oh you poor thing.
(Gives him a playful slap) Shut up, I’m being serious. He even tried to put a little bow on it. It was the saddest thing.
Well if that’s the saddest thing that’s ever happened to you in your life, you’re lucky.
You know what my father did on my birthday? He got drunk and beat the shit out of me.
(concerned) Oh my god, really?
No, but you get the point, right?
I’m just saying, your father getting you a molerat for your birthday isn’t the worst thing in the world.
(FNV) I’m just saying, your father getting you a gecko for your birthday isn’t the worst thing in the world.
So is that the standard for good parenting now? So long as you don’t flog your kids you’re doing great?
It’s a start.
You’re unbelievable. And oh by the way, I feel like this is all just an excuse to get me something shitty for my birthday.
Not true. I’ll have you know I bought your molerat weeks before you even told me this story.
(FNV) Not true. I’ll have you know I bought your gecko weeks before you even told me this story.
Play a game with me. Just one, come on.
There’s no point. It’s not exactly gambling when we share our money.
We don’t have to bet money. How about the winner gets to choose where we go on our honeymoon?
Ha, you won’t even let me pick my clothes. Now you’re letting me pick that?
So you’re saying it’s worth something to you to win.
Yeah, but if I pick somewhere you don’t wanna go, I have a feeling it’s going to cost me much, much more.
What do you think about Vegas?
As a city, or an institution?
(FO3) What do you think of moving out west?
(FO3) Do you mean physically, or as metaphor?
I mean as a place to live.
Well, you’re not gonna like my answer. I think it’s full of phonies. Every casino, every performer, just phonies, the whole lot of them.
(FO3) Well, you’re not gonna like my answer. But I think most people who leave are just people who couldn’t hack it here.
So you’d fit right in.
Ouch. You really go right for the jugular, don’t you?
It’s why you fell for me.
Why are you asking, anyway? I know you don’t want to live there.
I was thinking of a place for my dad. With mom gone, I’m worried he’s gonna get lonely.
Well, Vegas will take care of that, provided he can still make it stand.
(FO3) Well, a good hooker will take care of that, provided he can still make it stand.
Hey, you brought it up, not me. But if you’re that worried about him, you should invite him here.
I mean, what does Vegas got that we don’t? We got whores, pit fighting, and even a Super Mutant!
I’d be willing to bet my left nut that Vegas doesn’t have a super mutant.
(FO3) I mean, what do they have out west that they don’t have here? It’s the same old wastes, except we’re better dressed.
We’re getting married in a few months. Give or take. We don’t have a date.
I don’t think we need any family there anyway. It’s our day, not theirs.
My girl can be stubborn at times, but if you’ve met her father, it’s hard not to see why.
The food here isn’t bad, but we mostly come here to relax and talk things out.
Unlike the previous exchanges, these two have similar personalities, just a couple of default raiders.
Female – Red
Male – Black
Who do you think would win a fight between four dogs and a Deathclaw?
Are you fucking kidding me? The Deathclaw, hands down. Shit, it’d win with both hands tied behind its back.
Okay, what about twenty dogs?
It ain’t about a numbers. Deathclaws are killing machines.
The boss has killed plenty of people. Think he could take out a Deathclaw?
I don’t know, but I’m not gonna be the dumb shit who tells him he can’t.
What was that you were showing off the other day?
It was a knife I got off some wastelander.
Is that all? The way people were crowding around, you’d think it was more than some plain old knife.
Well, it wasn’t just any knife, dumbass. I made it from his bones.
I really need to kill something. Anything. It’s been too long.
Seriously. Hopefully the boss will have something for us soon.
Why wait? I say we go out there and raid a few towns, just for kicks.
Fuck that. I ain’t following you anywhere.
And why the fuck not? I’ve done it before.
It’s fine if you go out on your own. But orders come from the boss, and you ain’t him.
There’s too much graf around here. What we should be doing is hanging more corpses.
Just cover the place in blood and guts, not this pussy ass spray paint shit.
You gotta kill a man to hang a man.
I’ve killed plenty. More than your slow ass. I can’t figure out how you can have such a big gun and such a tiny little-
Hey, don’t even go there. That ain’t right.
Kill count. A tiny little kill count you dumb fuck.
The harvest is gonna be smaller than usual. Everyone’s saying it’s gonna be a rough season.
They always say that.
Because it’s always true.
I know, but that’s why it’s not a big deal. Tell me when you have good news, and then I’ll act surprised.
Ever think of how remarkable it is? We damn near blew up the world, and we’re still here. Fighting. Every single day.
I don’t know if that’s something to be proud of. It’s like spilling a glass of wine, then patting yourself on the back after you clean up the mess.
Might’ve been a good idea not to spill it in the first place.
Are you still mad about that? It slipped out of my hand, I swear.
And right onto my favorite blouse.
Yet you still wear it all the time.
(jokingly) Yeah, just to shame you. It’s your Scarlet letter.
What do you think about taking a trip? It’s been a while since we’ve stepped out of town.
I’d be all for it, provided we saved enough caps.
We could borrow some from my Uncle, he’s always willing to “lend” me some money.
I’d rather not owe your Uncle anything.
Did you not hear the air quotes? When I say lend, I mean he’s gonna give it to us, no strings attached.
There’s always strings. You just can’t see them pulling on you.
You know what people are saying about you, right?
I haven’t the faintest idea. Nor do I care.
Well, in that case, forget I even brought it up.
It isn’t who I think it is, is it?
I thought you didn’t care.
Well…maybe I do care, just a smidge. Especially when it concerns that harlot.
Oh so she’s a harlot now. Yesterday she was just a plain old liar.
She’s all of those things. And whatever she had to say, I guarantee you it’s utter nonsense.
Are you sure about that?
Yes. Now are you gonna tell me what she said or not?
Sure. The other day she said you were the only person in this town we can trust.
Oh. That’s actually really kind. She really said that?
(joking) Yeah, and you’re right. It’s complete and utter nonsense.
Is it true your Uncle is dating someone half his age?
A third his age and half of ours.
Don’t you think that’s scandalous?
When it comes to what goes on in my uncle’s bedroom, the less I think about it, the better.
For all roles, record some hellos
Sorry, I’m a little busy.
Can’t talk right now.
Something I can do for you?
for less neutral characters
What do you want?
Got a problem, asshole?
I ain’t got shit to say to you.
(do not record)
two older guys in their 40s (possibly military) shooting the shit.
Still trying to figure out what to get Margaery for Christmas. Unfortunately “psychiatric help” is not an option.
Well, that depends on how far you’re willing to go. I’m sure there’s a chem that’ll fix her up just as good as any shrink.
Dale, are you suggesting I get my daughter, my pride and joy, hooked on drugs? I’d say if there was a line, you’d just about crossed it.
John, the day we met I hit on your wife, killed your brahmin, and got you so drunk you nearly shot your little girl while she was still in your balls.
If you had a line, we wouldn’t be friends. If you had a line, we wouldn’t be friends.
The other day Margaery sent me money for my birthday.
That’s because she takes after her dad. Lazy as a preacher on Monday morning.
Well, it would be fine if it was just that. But she didn’t send me caps. She sent me fucking NCR money.
Why? Is she thick? Or is she trying to get us to use her money?
Don’t know. She’d be insulted if I even asked. Don’t know. She’d be insulted if I even asked.
How’s the wife?
Chipper as always.
And your kid?
She’s out west, joined the NCR.
What? Simon isn’t old enough to even hold a rifle, let alone shoot one.
Simon? Ohhhhh, you mean the kid I had with my wife, as opposed to you know, yours.
Fuck off, Dale.
Did you hear what happened to Linda?
Yeah. She was a tough son of a bitch too. But Super Mutants are on another level.
Don’t I know it. Arm wrestled a mutant once, was like trying to bench press a truck.
Dale, if that isn’t a load of horse shit, I’m going to have to ask why there’s so many flies around your mouth.
Hmph, says the guy who told me he once kept a yao guai as a pet. John, you lie so much you’re basically a rug.
Ha, fair enough asshole. So who won this fictional arm wrestling match of yours?
Do you even have to ask?
Well, I’ve seen your arms. So no, I guess I don’t. What I can’t figure out is, how they’re still attached to your body
How many more years you think we got John? Ten, twenty?
Don’t know, Dale. Life expectancy tends to jump all over the place when the world’s gone to shit.
I mean, sure, we aren’t out taking baths with mirelurks or anything, but danger can find you easy enough.
But look on the bright side. If one of us dies, it’ll mean neither of us will have to look at your ugly mug ever again.