Pollock, Gum, Chainsaw Script

Look over there, at that big white space! Tell me, what do you see?

A movie projection screen.
I don’t know what a movie is, but it sounds incredibly tedious.
No, what you see is a canvas. All it needs is someone to paint it!

I see the worst place for a playground in the history of city planning.
Yes, yes, I realize that, but above it, what do you see!
A canvas, am I right? A blank canvas just waiting to be painted!

I see the word “Duh” scribbled in the corner.
Well yes, but pretend that’s not there because it’s terrible and makes me embarrassed for whoever wrote it.
Erase that, and what do you have? That’s right, a canvas just waiting to be painted!

The only space I see is the massive hole between your ears.
Well, that was from a radscorpion sting, and purely cosmetic, I assure you.
No, the blank space you see is a canvas, one that begs to be painted!

Are you an artist?
Am I an artist? Ha-ha-ha, do bloatflies eat shit?
No, really, do they? I feel like given their size they would have moved on to better smelling prey.

Why are you hanging out at the Drive-In?
We heard this place used to house a lost technology.
Something that could take pictures and make them…move.
Knowing this, a lesser artist might try to recreate what was lost.  But I propose something else entirely.

What are you proposing exactly?
What if the pictures were like these cars? What if instead of moving, they stood in place?
Wouldn’t that be the perfect metaphor? Am I not a genius for thinking it?

To be honest, you’re kind of an idiot.
So you’re a critic. And apparently not a very good one.
But don’t worry, I shall make it my mission in life to show you true art.

You’re a genius of the highest form.
Oh, I know. But hearing others say it is definitely good for the ego.

I see. It’s a metaphor for the end of mankind’s progress.
Exactly! Time itself has stopped, and that’s what this piece will convey.

It’s a deep thought for a twelve year old. But someone your age should be past such nonsense.
The depth of genius does not change with age. Only your willingness to fall in.

I don’t know enough about art to tell you one way or the other.
We all have to start from somewhere, friend. But when you see my masterpiece, you’ll be starting from the top.

Why haven’t you started painting yet?
Because first, we need inspiration…we need a vision…we need…

We need paint.

Right, that too. We don’t have any paint.

But maybe that’s where you can help us. We need enough paint to fill this entire screen. The problem is we don’t have any money.

Of course you don’t.
Well yes, that goes without saying. The greatness of an artist is directly proportional to his poverty.
After all, only a handful of people are intelligent enough to recognize his talent.

You don’t need money if you have muscle.
Right. As you can see, we don’t have that either. Besides, our time is too valuable to be lifting weights.

There’s plenty of supplies out in the wastes if you know where to scavenge.
True. In fact, I know of a place to the south of here that has what we need.
Trouble is, my time is far too valuable to waste on such things. Perhaps you’d be willing to help.

I can help you out if you need a donation.
If you can donate paint, then yes, we’ll take it. Caps, on the other hand, are useless.
Not unless you have paint to sell us.

What can I do to help?
So you’re eager to assist us. Good. To start, we’ll need paint. See if you can find a bucket at the old rest stop on Nipton Road.

And to finish?
Ah, let’s not jump the gun just yet, my protege. Bring us the paint first, and then we’ll talk about the grand finale.

Fetch you some paint, got it. I’ll keep an eye out.
Fetch? You make it sound like a menial task. I assure you, something this important would not be left to some mangy dog.
I mean really, have you ever tried to train one? They don’t really have a grasp of the language.
No, this task is just the first step in creating a true masterpiece. When you complete it, you’ll understand why.

I’ve got your paint.
Fantastic! I’ll have Chainsaw begin work immediately! Well, as soon as he gets over his fear of heights.
But you let me worry about that. You’ve got more important things to take care of.

What’s do you need me to do next?
Well, we have the paint, thanks to you, and we have the vision, thanks to me.
But to finish…to truly make this a masterpiece…we need to make this more than a commentary.

How do we do that?
By making it a piece of living history.  A monument to the end of empires, old and new.

What we need is the blood of a king.

Where would I get the blood of a king?
Well, this is the best part! You get to choose!
There’s two of them vying for the throne as we speak.  President Kimball of the NCR, and Caesar of the Legion.

You want me to kill the President?
Well, him or Caesar. Or just get them to donate the blood, it doesn’t matter.
We can always say you killed him later.

What do I get for doing this?
Art isn’t about financial rewards. It’s about creation, and expression, and…well you get the idea.
Point is, you won’t get caps, but you will get a sense of accomplishment.

You’re crazy if you think I’m doing this for you.
You aren’t doing it for me, you’re doing it for art! Besides, I’m not saying you have to assassinate them.
Just be there with a needle in case somebody else does.

Consider it done.
That’s the spirit! No mountain is too high, no throne is too guarded.
And when you return, we’ll splatter their blood on the screen and turn this painting into a true historical landmark.

Actually, I don’t think I can help you.
Of course. Not everyone has the…uh…how do I put this gently…mental capacity to understand what we’re trying to do here.
But I do like the idea of leaving this work unfinished. It’s no different than the people who died here.
You leaving unfulfilled is its own ending.

I’ve got the blood of kings.
Fantastic! I can almost smell the fascism! That is, if it weren’t in a sealed plastic bag.
Anyways, this is just what we need to give our centerpiece the visceral component it deserves!

Behold! A mushroom cloud stained with the blood of a slain king! Lay your eyes on this piece, and bear witness to the end of empires!

(if away from Drive-In)Not now, I’m busy. Meet me at the Drive-In, we’ll talk there.
All right.
Very well.
Have you done as I asked?
What is it now?

post quest

You’ve done well my protege, and this masterpiece is proof of your labors.

You deserve to pat yourself on the back. I’d do it myself, but it saves time if you do it for me.

What do you think of the completed work?
The piece is magnificent. Well, at least the one in my head is.
As for the one up there, I think Chainsaw mixed in a little too much white into the blood. It almost looks pink.


if Gum greeted first

If Pollock says you’re okay, then we can talk.

from scene above, while talking with Pollock

Why haven’t you started painting yet?
Because first, we need inspiration…we need a vision…we need…

We need paint.

Right, that too. We don’t have any paint.

after talk with pollock

What’s up?

Are you an artist like Pollock?
Ha, there’s only one artist here, and it’s Chainsaw. Pollock is more of an “idea” guy.
Me, I just hang out.

Why do they call you Gumdrop?
Because I like to chew ’em.
They’re kind of bad for you though. I think that’s why my hair’s starting to fall out.

What do you think about painting this screen?
I don’t know. I think Pollock was secretly hoping we’d get to watch some moving pictures.
So turning it into a painting is almost like sour grapes, you know?
 Like a “Fuck you, I didn’t want watch your movie anyway” kind of deal.
Still, it’ll be fun to see what you guys come up with.



Whatcha need?

See ya.



Any thoughts now that the work is finished?
Well, it’s got a heart in it, which I like. And it’s got some dead ruler’s blood, which is pretty cool.

Either way, enjoy it while it lasts. I’m sure Pollock will get tired of it in about a week.


Talk to Pollock, I just do the painting.


Need something?

See ya.

All right then.

Are you an artist like Pollock?
No, he’s the artist. I just paint.

Pollock doesn’t paint?
Nah, he’s too creative to waste his time with that. So it’s up to me to try and take what’s in his head and make it real.

How did the three of you meet?
The three of used to be jackal gangers, but it turned out none of us like killing folks all that much, let alone eating them.
In fact, if this painting thing doesn’t work out, I’ll probably head up to Goodsprings, see if I can’t find some honest work.

What do you think about painting this screen?
I’m no artist, so I’ll leave the thinking to Pollock. I’m just trying not to mess up his vision.


Any thoughts now that the work is finished?
Honestly, most of the time I was just scared shitless being up so high.
I messed up so many times it just ended up being a splatter job.
But Pollock doesn’t seem to mind, so who am I to judge.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s